And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
