i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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