Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
