I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
