So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
