I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
