Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
