...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize