i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
