a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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