i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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