She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
They have beer where we have blood.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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