she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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