It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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