One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
