just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize