The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize