This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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