Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
