I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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