worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
