hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
