I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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