Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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