She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize