I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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