obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There's even glitter on my cock...
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