i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
