Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
