i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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