shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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