I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
