YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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