I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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