well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
