how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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