so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
