if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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