break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
