3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
