You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Everything about him screamed your future.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
