the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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