jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
