I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
zippers are such a cool invention
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize