Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
