thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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