WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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