I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also, beer. Big fan.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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