Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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