If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
