They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
