Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
