dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
