Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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