Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
