Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize