im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
