She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
