dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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