but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
