Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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